YAY, apprciated! Partly because I've never heard "diabeetus" until I moved to the south, partly because I am immature and think diabeetus sounds amazingly comical, especially with a cat.

been playing around with photoshop. Does this look painted enough?

Wow, its been a while

I went into med school wanting to heal people. Knowing that I loved stories, life, and happiness. I guess I didn't realize that the process of healing people means that they had to be broken in the first place. It's an easily missed piece of the puzzle; minimized by the glimmering glory of the theory of re-creating happiness and health.

I think somewhere between first year and second year, that denial of the very important details of unhappiness, pain, suffering and death, was fueled by the mind numbing classes and eccentric people that I were immersed in. I remember even earlier this year feeling happy that I was at the point where I can do simple diagnosis and make guesses on treatment. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I got a good month and a half of studying for the boards; during which I had a full, strong dose of re-learning about all the things that can destroy one's normal life. Pain, suffering, and death, even in their typed-on-page form can be pretty depressing when one eats, walks, and sleeps with the stuff for a month and a half.

I mean, for the past two years, I've seen some gruesome stuff. Death, dead people, sick people, pain. Now that I think back, I wonder why it never hit me that I will be immersed in suffering. I guess it's only natural for doctors to heal then. It's human nature. It's like fighting for breath when you're sinking - you don't think about it, you just fight for life. When you get to that stage of being competent and are surrounded by challenges of death- do you heal because you love people, or because it's just your intrinsic nature to fight?

So I guess, I'm just kind of afraid that I'll be jaded.

Also, if someone will get me this t-shirt (http://store.xkcd.com/)-->

I promise I'll dress up like the Asian chick, leather and all...
dyed blue hair and pink integrated hearts not included.

Also, it'll have to wait until after boards.

my conclusion so far this week...
the thing with being human is, there are a lot more pretty bad diseases than there are of the days a person is actually a live

what i realized.. over the past week... :
1) the boards is one of the events in life where a bout of sarcasm and good humor will not aleviate the situation.
2) Lexus has great shocks. When I grow up, I'm going to get one just so I can drive over speed bumps with them. Take that po-po's.

what I realized today: I should have played a hellz of a lot harder in high school. Cuz after that, the wheels have never stopped stopped churning and I'm sure it's not gonna stop anytime soon. I guess all I have looking forwards to is the Golden Years.

today I realized: when in need of telling someone something difficult/awkward, sleep-deprivation to the point of absolute exhaustion is always the free alternative to alcohol to facilitate conversation. ("who cares if you're flabbergasted by what I said? I'm already feeling freakin miserable")

new

In realization that for the next month and a half, I will be doing nothing but studying, eating, running, and sleeping. I've decided that I will start listing (almost) everyday something I learned that day that is not related to medicine - unless the medicinal fact is so interesting that it excites me.

Today, I realized that - it is exceedingly hard to pee and blow your nose at the same time without an accident either above or below the waist.

mid-exam procrastination

Someone said a while ago that 20-25 is the time where the largest change in maturity happens. I thought those rocky teenage years were going to be the bulk of the stumbling in my life - like those damned psychologists kept telling us - but I guess I've got a few more years a-coming. And good gracious I know I need the maturing up.

Someone also remarked, about a year ago, "I woke up one day, and realized that I didn't want to be tired any more." He's a few years ahead of me and as of this Thursday last, he offically graduated from med school with his MD/PhD. Yea, I guess it is tiring to be constantly struggling in tests thrown at you meant to stimulate important skills for reality- but not actually living in that reality. Reality is so far away.

I wonder which quote will catch up with me first. I think I like the former.

Greetings!

A game perhaps. An imaginary cookie goes to the person(s) who can figure out/know what WOTAC means (or at least my ascribed meaning).

This will also help me decide who from the 80's chem back in the days has graced my site.

But really, I really never thought of myself as a WOTAC until I moved to Nashville, TN.